Kim Johnson has a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She gives free advice on relationships on how to learn, grow and develop your own personal self to make yourself a better person, as well as being able to relate and communicate with other people.

Kim highly recommends the use of ‘I statements’ when you have problems or issues with a person that are really and truly bugging you. An ‘I statement’ is used to tell a person how their actions make you feel. For example, ‘’Lisa, when you are late and do not ring me, I imagine you are lying dead somewhere. I feel scared.’’

Using an ‘I statement’ is important because the other person is more likely to listen to what you are saying and sympathize with you. If you do not use an ‘I statement’ but, instead make it all about them, they are more likely to see it as a criticism.

For example, ‘’Lisa, why didn’t you ring me, you could have been killed without anyone knowing where you were.’’ An ‘I statement’ will make the other person less defensive because you are talking about how it is making you feel, inside your heart.

Filed under: Relationships Advice

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